Wanted

Wanted: Fellow New Mommy Friend

(sung to the tune of The Perfect Nanny from Mary Poppins)

If you want this choice position

Have a cheeky disposition

Rosy cheeks, no warts

Tell jokes about farts

You must be witty, you must be kind

You must possess a liberal mind

Go with me on walks, bring me baked treats in boxes

Burn me a copy of the new Fleet Foxes

Never be cross or cruel

unless you're mocking a Fox News fool

Love me and Arlo like your extended family

Bonus points if you have green thumb abilities

If you won't scold or dominate us

We will never give you cause to hate us

We'll talk about books and smart documentaries

and we'll breastfeed our babies over afternoon coffeee.

Many thanks sincerely,

Rhianna

This afternoon Arlo and I went on a long walk. On the return leg of our walk a cute old lady neighbor I had never met before stopped me on the corner and made a cute old lady fuss over Arlo. I introduced myself, and she told me her name was Frances. She was wearing a cute old lady do-rag a la Rosie the Riveter, and she walked with an ornately carved cane. She asked if I lived on Woodford, and I told her I did. She said, "They told me that you had a new baby." I have no idea who "they" are, but apparently we have been news on the Neighborhood Old People Network. She pointed out her house, about a block away. She told me that Arlo and I should stop by and see her on our next walk. I suggested that we all take a walk together sometime.

Seriously, I need to find some local friends my own age. Or, at the very least local friends with small children, not small great grandchildren. No offense to my new friend Frances.